Anyone can find it daunting to start dating again after a bereavement or relationship breakdown, but the effects are often magnified when you’re in your mature years. If your previous relationship lasted for many years, then you may feel be intimidated by the idea of starting all over again, and the “dating game” may have changed significantly since your last outing. But there’s no need to worry – these five simple tips will increase your chances of finding that very special someone.
1. Be Prepared
Before you launch into dating again, think carefully about how you feel. After a long and happy partnership, it will probably take some time before you are ready to begin again with someone new. In addition, if your previous relationship broke down, you may not feel ready to trust again straight away. Ask yourself what you want from a new relationship – not everyone is seeking a long-term partnership. You may just prefer to engage in casual dating before considering a more substantial commitment. Think about what your non-negotiables are. For example, you may feel very strongly about having a partner who shares your religious or political views.
However, you should also consider whether your expectations are realistic; no one is perfect, and any new partner is bound to have some characteristics that irritate you. Further, always make sure you’re honest when you do finally step out. Be true to yourself, because a relationship based on anything less is bound to fail eventually.
2. Talk to Your Family
Mature singles are likely to have other family members to consider. You may have children from a previous relationship, and – even if they’re now adults – they may have a hard time coming to terms with the thought of you dating someone new. This is especially true if they care deeply about your previous partner. If your last relationship ended badly, they may also be concerned that you’ll get hurt again, and want to protect you from further heartbreak. In some cases, they may even seem hostile towards you when they learn that you’re interested in dating again. Ultimately, however, you must consider your own happiness and do what you think will bring you joy, rather than worrying too much about what others think – however well-intentioned.
3. Map Out a Strategy
It helps to map out a strategy that gives you a clear idea of how you’re going to approach your new lifestyle. You may want to meet new people face-to-face, so ponder a few ideas about where you can go to help facilitate this. You could join an interest group, such as a hiking or bird-watching club, or take up a new sport like tennis or golf. Taking a study class is another great way to meet those with similar interests, or you may encounter likeminded people at a local church or synagogue. You could even try a singles group, which is often helpful because you’re sure to meet others looking to begin dating again.
Online dating sites such as singleandmature.com has also become very popular and is a useful “halfway house” if you’re feeling a bit shy. Set up an honest profile describing yourself, and you’re likely to make contact with others who share your interests. You can chat online before actually meeting up, so you can break the ice.
4. Take Things Slowly
It’s essential to take thing slowly and not expect too much at first. Make sure you consider your personal safety, by making your first meeting in a public place and perhaps organizing your own transport arrangements. This is especially important when it comes to meeting people from online cougar dating sites, but is always wise in the early stages of dating. In addition, remember that coming across as too keen (or at worst, desperate) is likely to put people off rather than attract them. It’s natural to experience a little awkwardness initially, but keep things light and friendly and you won’t go too far wrong.
5. Move on Carefully
The same advice holds true as your relationship develops. Take time to get to know your new date before committing yourself too much, and work on developing a deep friendship first. Meanwhile, if you decide to become intimate, such as one night stands, don’t forget to practice safe sex – the transmission of STDs in the over 50s is increasing surprisingly rapidly, so take responsibility for your own health. And finally, when you’re ready, you may find yourself reveling in a fulfilling partnership that brings you many years of love and happiness.
