Evaluating your assumptions, beliefs, and values is a highly effective way to gain a new perspective on your life and discover fascinating avenues for personal development. The following nine questions challenge you, stretch your imagination and encourage you to reconsider the things you take for granted.
If you have time, you might even consider writing a journal entry about your response to each question, or ask friends and family members to share their perspectives.
1. What are your greatest gifts and how can you share those with others?
In addition to encouraging you to reflect on the parts of yourself that make you feel proud and unique, this question helps you to see how you might better contribute to your relationships and your community. For example, if you identify your gifts as playing music, giving advice and making people laugh, are there any ways to better thread these gifts into your career or social life? Alternatively, might there be a type of volunteer work that you are particularly suited to take on?
2. What are the five things you value the most, and what are the five things that take up most of your time?
Firstly, consider the top five things that matter to you the most. For example, common inclusions are family bonds, a romantic relationship, certain key hobbies and spiritual commitments. Once you have this list, compare it to a list of the five things that you actually prioritize in everyday life. Is there significant overlap? If you’re not spending much time on some of your top five valued things, what can you do to change that?
3. If you could know the truth about one thing related to your life or your future, what would you want to know (and why would you choose this fact)?
This question may reveal areas where you feel you lack self-knowledge, prompting further questions about how you might come to gain access to well-defended parts of yourself. On the other hand, it might uncover anxieties about the future, helping you figure out how to manage those worries more effectively.
4. If you could change one thing about how you were raised, what would you choose?
Some people find this question easy to answer due to a highly difficult upbringing, but even if you were surrounded by loving family it’s still likely that you’ll be able to identify at least one challenging aspect. The goal is not to breed resentment about your family of origin but rather to enhance your awareness of how some of the issues you face in adulthood relate to your childhood.
5. If you could spend a week in the body of a different type of person, what type of body would you choose?
Consider whether you’d most like to be in the body of a different sex, someone you think is more or less attractive, someone who is handicapped in some way, someone who is very physically gifted, or someone much older or younger. Why have you chosen this type of body, and what do you think you could learn from occupying it?
6. How often do you feel or express gratitude about your life?
This question aims to turn your focus to things, people and abilities you truly appreciate. It’s very easy to spend most of your time thinking about negative feelings and experiences, but there is evidence that positive thinking can actually shape your success (as well as your happiness). It’s also worth asking yourself how you might better express gratitude on a daily basis—could you keep a gratitude journal, make a collage of the things you appreciate the most, or say thank you more often?
7. If you died tonight and had no way to talk to anyone beforehand, what would you regret not having said?
While it might seem morbid to contemplate this topic, the idea is that it will help you see what you desperately want to communicate and yet may have avoided or forgotten. For example, it’s common to think of declarations of love you have not shared, apologies you have not given, or secrets you have not confessed. What would happen if you chose to communicate some of those things now?
8. What do you need the most right now?
Many people are guilty of neglecting their immediate and more basic needs in order to relentlessly pursue long-term goals (such as career success). Asking yourself about your current requirements puts the focus on self-care, helping you to see that you might well be in urgent need of more sleep, time to yourself, or the freedom to say “no” to new commitments.
9. What is your most treasured memory?
Finally, when you think of your most treasured memory, consider what makes it so special. What does this tell you about your priorities and desires? What might you be able to do to bring more of the key experiences or emotions associated with this memory into the present?
